Take It Somewhere, Make It Into Something

Sitting here, or rather I should say treading here, on the treadmill, feeling a wee bit sorry for myself. What can be learned from this. Ill be damned if I went through this misery for nothing. I am not a victim, even though time after time I would just love to throw in the proverbial towel and give up. To do that would be wasting a life of hard and constant learning putting me on the fast track to SOMEWHERE. You know that prized destination that we all strive for. The place where we can at last make sense of our existence here. Ive come this far and things should be falling into place like pieces of a puzzle. Every now and then I find a corner, there should be only four, right? It seems Ive found more corners than that and the picture should be more formed than it is. Be that as it may, I sit on my fanny, or treading as the case may be, looking for the next big clue. Where to go. What to do. I want to take it somewhere and make it into something. Ive put in my very impressive resume and now Im waiting for my call back. What do they say, a watched door never opens?
I have accumulated a vast amount of knowledge and experience in my life and Im ready to take it somewhere and make it into something. This life will not be for naught.

#*@#!!!! Happens

Shit happens and sometimes it doesnt get better. There isnt always something better waiting for you. Life does not give upgrades. It gives lessons. Some easy, others hard, and some impossible to deal with. Im not being a Debby Downer here, Im being realistic. I dont have a pair of rose colored glasses that so many well meaning people have. I love that people try to cheer you up. Its wonderful that they care. But however well meaning they are, they are just dead wrong 50% of the time. It doesnt mean that one should not try to stay positive and never give up. To the contrary, we are here to learn till we die, and that means, keep working. When one is on their last breath, let there be a lesson in that. I believe there is intelligence behind all this. I dont believe its totally the luck of the draw. Again I would say 50% of the time we can control life. But the other 50 has other plans. We came to the planet to learn and that is all. Thats all there is. That can be depressing just as looking at countless years of schooling can be depressing. Why do we do it? Because in some far advanced future we will have benefited just from the experience alone. After we die, we are not the same soul that entered the earthly body. We are changed, maybe not always better, but changed for sure. Weve learned something to add to the collective that is God. It really is a group effort, no matter how much you feel alone. Some lives are just bummers, like taking a career defining test. If you pass great, if not, try again. Jealousy of those who appear to have it better than you is wasted energy. Energy that is best used cracking open the book and studying, so that you will be ready when called upon. Time is infinite. Actually time doesnt even exist at all.
Am I rambling? I tend to do that when I talk about things unseen. Here it is: Realize that each person has their individualized lesson, and it is not for others to say it will get better. No one can know that and it is just empty words. It is for others to be a friend, an ear, able hands; supportive. Nothing more.