Once again, reading a book has spurred me on to blog out of sheer anger. To stay peaceful, I am to say "Lord let me be the instrument of thy peace". If I am not feeling peaceful, just remove myself from the problem. I am totally in charge of my peace. No one else can upset me if I dont let them.
Sometimes I have to wonder, have any of these wise ones gone through any serious shit? Theres nothing I would love to do more than remove myself. Tell me, how do I do that? Im working very hard to save my ass, and everytime I make any kind of move at all, a stick is shoved up said ass. Yeah I want to go. Let me out.
I am the master of my peace. I AM? Tell that to the bank Aurora, whos going to hunt me down till the day i die. What is it about short sale you dont understand Aurora? Let me go, stay out of my business, Im trying to move on, like the law says is my right. Is this a free country? No amount of money coming to me is mine, Aurora wants it. I cant accept money or buy a trailor because they have their hands in my pocket. The banks gave us this bad loan, it was totally their fault, now they want me to pay for their stupidity and greed. I understand how people are pushed to kill themselves because you cant get out, ever.
I finally got OK with losing my precious home and found an alternative, nothing that I would have chosen if I had a real chance, but it was going to be home. There are so many hurdles to such a simple thing as buying a trailor, paying very low lot rent, and living in peace in a retirement community. Timelines and deadlines and pay outs and invoices due and no dogs allowed and no living allowed and your credit is bad and you owe $50,000 and repossession looming and bird is getting sick and Marc is getting sick and Im getting sick and appointments, and calls, and getting rid of my artwork and the other car will never work again and people are stupid and no one knows the law about service dogs.....etc. Well you know what? On the last one, Im gonna sue your ass. Because I just cant take it anymore.The ignorant bastards of the world need a good ass whoopin. Just give me one more reason to scream and I will come down on you like a mad wet ass whooped bat out of hell.
Keep my inner peace. Tell that to all the vermin around me. Im not accepting that this is my fault.
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