Unrecognizable

That is what my life has become. Every one of my plans have been scrapped. Some of it literally on the junk heap. I had to come up with something quick, to take their place, in order to prevent me going crazy or going dead. What is important to me, I asked myself. Down to the bare tacks, what must I have? I HAVE to create! The easiest and most available mode of expression is fine art. I had many other creative ideas, but they cant be. I have to have good food, a reasonable roof over my head, transportation, and most importantly, love. I can manage that. Im a sagittarius and I had great wide reaching plans, all of which were very important to me. Its a sad thing to watch a sag. deflate. The wind is enough to blow everyone over. When the wind is gone, what you see is a sad tearful clown, no more jokes, no more of anything exciting. I cant go into my garden without falling into a deep depression. I have to have Marc water it for me. I cant even do that.
With that said, I must cut to the chase and do things I would never have done before. Example: move all the exercise equipment into the living room. It just makes more sense for many reasons. Doing that before would have insulted my visual sensitivity. Im all about beauty. Without it, that sad clown comes out. Thats just one example, and new plans are unfolding everyday. I dont even know when I have to be out of here, or where I will go. I havent a clue. Unfortunately, I am all to used to this scenario. It has dogged me all my life. I thought I could settle down once and for all. Life had other plans.