Most people my age are winding down, looking forward to retirement, wanting a smaller place and less things. They want a less hectic life that has more meaning rather than more responsibility and acquiring possessions. This is a very generalized statement and observation and not true for everyone. Its not true for me because I was just starting to wind up, to reap what my life experiences have taught me. I wasnt even close to achieving what my heart desired before it was all taken away. I feel now that Im getting tired and I really dont want to try achieving any longer. I have not reached my period of harvest, the crops failed again, and it will be a long hard winter to survive through until once again I may have another chance to succeed. Every time winter comes around I am less energetic, less enthusiastic, and possessing less patience and hope. Ive worked really hard just to keep it together. I got the house Ive wanted all my life and now Im sitting here stunned as to what to do and where to go. I know that I must keep going, keep doing, keep loving, keep breathing, and maybe if thats all I ever do in this life, it will be enough. The sadness never goes away though. I dont know how a person can have less than nothing.
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