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I am going to channel this because Im at my very lowest right now.Im just typing what comes out of my mind. I dont want to give up. But there comes a time when you just cant do any more. Go anymore.Im distressed to the bottom of my soul.In the end there will be knashing of teethe. I understand this now. There is no where to go with this frustration. My back is up against the wall. I apologise for usind this blog for this and asking people to read it. Im not sure how I feel about that. But you have to understand that this is all I have left. This is my last time to reach out in this way because I wont do it again. My disappointment with this world is destroying me. As I get older, it just gets worse. There has been no improvement for me ever. Whats going to change now? Im not young and pretty anymore and society largely views me as valueless. All I ever wanted was a chance. I cant wait anymore. The people in my life are undependable just as always. There is no tangible support for me anywhere or from anyone. Why should I expect anyone to care? If I were in the position to help people, I would. Why is that consideration not given to me? There really is no use in me trying anything anymore. Im like a car stuck in mud. The more I try to get out, the more deeper stuck and hopeless I become. I have hung in there more than most people would have, but I have my limits. Im done.Im so fuckin fed up and I cant even imagine any sort of good future for me. Im tired. Im so tired.