Monday, August 30, 2010

Invisable


I love my dog for many reasons, one of them being she makes me feel like God. Shes the only living thing on earth that ever has and ever will make me feel that way. Human beings, especially the ones who know you the best, have a way of not seeing potential in you. They tend not to notice your abilities and talents, and also what hurts your feelings. All I ask is to be equal in my unique abilities that I can bring to the table. I have no desire to lord it over anyone. This especially becomes evident when dealing with men. Maybe I dont have enough self confidence when it comes to feeling equal. Maybe I truly dont believe it, but I dont think that is it. Men are used to being front and center, and women revolving around them. At best I feel like I offer "a womans touch"! Ouch! I hate being told that or even being made to feel that way. I am a complete human with my own ideas, accomplishments, and talents. I have a desire to share equally with my fellow human beings. The days of being put down, or putting myself down are long gone. But what do you do when youre pretty much stuck in a situation that is not easily escaped from. Do I have to start "manhandling" affairs, raise my voice and bitch? Thats exactly what I would become known as, a bitch. I am not a female dog, and maybe we could as a society, lose that word, and come up with another descriptive word for a strong female.
Ive let this feeling of mine rule how Ive started signing my work. I dont write my name, like I have a right to and be proud of. I write initials, cloaking myself as gender neutral. I think most people viewing my work, not knowing my gender, would assume it was created by a male. Just as doctors are assumed to be male. Thank God thats starting to change. But because my work is so good, I believe it is seen as male. Hey, Ill take it, Im not that proud. Besides it gives me great pleasure in watching and listening to peoples reactions when they find out Im a woman. But it would be nice to say, "Hello, Im Ellary Branden. Im an artist and a woman".

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