Allow Me

Allow me now my time to rant, worry. and cry. Its my blog and I can cry if I want to. If you dont like it, shut up and dont read it. Do you sense something is a little askew? You must be psychic, because I dont know what Ive done to give it away. Sarcastic I am and a whole lot of mad. Ready to throw in the towel actually. Im trying to figure out how Im gonna live. Survive! Im out of money, my credit cards are maxed out, I bought a new truck for someone who I thought was going to get a job. Just the truck and insurance alone takes all my disability money. So it looks like I will have to live/hide in it. I can get a lunch weekdays. I can also take a sponge bath there. Weekends I fend for myself. Im going to have to think of safe places to park overnight. If you park in the nice neighborhoods, they call the cops on you. In a not nice neighborhood, they dont care and actually welcome you and your booty that they will help themselves to. How do I know this? Ive been here once before when I was forced out of my home by a man who was abusing me. I lived 3 weeks in my truck while working so I could save enough money for an apartment. Things were much better for me then. I was younger, not disabled, had my health, and a job. The only hope I have now is to sell my paintings consistantly enough to support myself. Oh and I forgot to mention, I cant take my art, use my computer, buy canvases and supplies, or have a place to paint, then store my work. I cant take anything with me except my dog whom Id rather die than to give her up.
Im losing my mind. Alot of people would just off themselves, prostitute and/or do drugs. Im going to survive and take what comes, and keep trying till its over. I have to because to do anything else is not me. Signing off for now. I have to go sulk awhile.